Call me Babaman?

Sometimes, you have life-changing experiences. Sometimes, you don’t recognize the impact of those experiences until years later. Sometimes, you are immediately conscious of the magnitude of the experience as it happens.

Long ago, I didn’t realize the gift of going through personal traumatic experiences until years later. The experiences of head injuries, post-traumatic stress, and navigating family health-related setbacks opened pathways that at the time seemed so distant and unthinkable. I also didn’t also realize the long-term gift of training myself to endure hardship through long-distance bike rides and endurance races.

Whereas, I realized immediately that the heartfelt connection I felt with nature when I spent a month in the backcountry with a dozen other adventurers during a National Outdoor Leadership School expedition in the Washington Cascades in 1996 would be life-changing.

And last week, I also immediately realized that the heartfelt, joyful community experience of last week’s Bhakti Immersion in New Orleans with Sean Johnson and the Wild Lotus Band would be life-changing.

Immediately, I felt my heart open. Was it the music? Was it the group of like-minded, open-hearted, non-judgmental people who had gathered? Was it New Orleans? Was it Sean’s warm-hearted demeanor or his joyful spirit or maybe his storytelling? Was it the opportunity to use my voice and sing again?

Immediately, I felt connected. The lines of separation between people, things, experiences – past and present, seemed to vanish. I went to my nature-place, my place where I feel a natural oneness. Within a couple of days, I wrote this:

The whisper of the winds calls my name;

The arms of the trees embrace my soul;

The heart of the earth calls me home;

The light of the sky guides my way.

Who am I to question my path?

Who are they that guide my way?

I am always here.

My home is the wind, the tree, the earth, the sky.

I am the wind, the tree, the earth, the sky;

I am the breath, the body, the heart, the light.

You don’t have to look to find me!

I am here. I am here.

I am home. I am Om.

Sean asked me to include my name in the poem. I couldn’t! How could I separate myself from nature with a simple name? I am who I am because of everyone in my life, past and present. My name (Bob) is my father’s name (Bob) and my uncle’s name (Bob) and my father-in-law’s name (Bob). Or, near Boston my name is Baaab. My name is often said as one name with my wife’s name (BobN’Jo). I thought of all of the people who put their hand on my back and let me know that they had my back. And, all of the people who rested their hand on my shoulder and let me know that everything would be okay – it was okay to just be me! I am who I am because of all of these people.

I thought of Hanuman, who I’ve written about before. According to myth (as I understand it), when asked by Ram who he was, he said (deha bhavena dasosmi) that when he takes on the identity of his body (as an individual separate from God), he is devoted to God (or a higher power, if you will) with a full and open heart. This is the Bhakti yoga path. When he takes on the identity of a wanderer or a seeker (jiva bhavena twadamshakaha), he’s part of God. When he identifies with oneness or pure consciousness (atma bhavena twamevaham), he is God, the universe, infinity – when the interdependence of all things is realized. Was I identifying this quickly at this Immersion in New Orleans with this sense of the oneness and interdependence? I was feeling totally connected by love with everyone around me, silently but openly. In a palpable way, these moments where life-changing for me.

So, knowing that memories of the mind fade and that the mind usually creates new stories to explain reality as it happens in real time, I thought I’d get a tattoo to remind me of the feelings that I was feeling.

This shoulder tattoo will remind me daily of those who have supported me in my life on Earth by putting a hand on my shoulder and letting me know it was okay to be me. And to remind me that:

Our super-human powers come from our heartfelt devotion to a higher power and a sacred purpose;

Through our natural and holistic expressions of both our male and female aspects, we learn to evolve, transform and blossom through the light and the dark periods of our lives;

We honor our teachers, gurus, mentors, elders, spirit guides and ancestors;

We remain grounded to the earth while ready to serve humbly and selflessly, moving mountains for the benefit of our family, friends, community, Earth and all of life;

With our open hearts, and with compassion and kindness, we have power over our monkey-brains – we expose our true nature to be playful, joyful and loving!

Maybe now, I’ll call myself Babaman! What do you think?

Yoga and Skiing at Snowbird

That moment…

When you see the beauty of majestic granite mountains,

When you smell the fresh scents of tall pine forests,

When you touch the softness of sun-drenched powder snow,

When you hear the songs of awakening Spring life,

And you feel the exhilaration of your body flowing freely with gravity…

Is when you know you have found bliss –

And when you know you have arrived at Snowbird!

 

There is something about Snowbird that makes my spirit soar! Ever since I first arrived over 30 years ago, I keep going back. Maybe it’s just the feeling of being connected to the natural beauty of the mountains. Maybe it’s the deep connection I feel with the Earth. Probably, it has something to do with an acute awareness of feeling my life as it’s supposed to be… free and flowing and joyful.

I brought my family there. I taught skiing and riding there. I almost moved there.

So why lead workshops that combine the practice of yoga and the experience of skiing and riding at Snowbird?

Yoga heightens our sense of presence, our feelings of connection, and our awareness of what’s going on. When combined with the present-moment exhilaration of flowing down challenging mountainsides with beauty and like-spirited friends all around to support you, the possibilities are endless. All of your senses feel peace and become positively-energized at the same time!

And awe-inspiring experiences are meant to be shared.

For me, as a yoga teacher, a ski and snowboard instructor, and a personal coach, it is a heavenly way to bring smiles to faces and to help people feel something wonderful!

In April of 2017, we will welcome our Heart of the Village Yoga community to a one-week yoga and ski trip at Snowbird! Join us. You will know when you have arrived!

Spring is in the Air at Snowbird

Leading with Heart

Recently, someone asked me about my leadership principles. Words like vision, integrity, responsibility, and discipline rolled off my lips. Showing up with authenticity and presence, with a strong sense of inner knowing and mutual respect. Acting in a right manner, consistent in thoughts, words, and behaviors.

Of course, the archetype of leadership is the warrior. And last week, I spent 4 days hiking in the White Mountains along the 20-mile Presidential Traverse with 3 other warriors. (We started with 4 other warriors, but one was brave enough to say that the trip wasn’t for him. He became our base support.) Including our base support warrior, three were combat veterans; one was an amputee (and Paralympic alpine skier). I was the organizer and perceived leader.

Only one hiker other than me had mountain hiking experience. One was from the US Virgin Islands; not accustomed to sub-70 weather… They all knew me; only a couple knew each other before this week.

On our second day, after an initial first-day 4-mile steep climb towards the ridge line, four of us set out into the rain and clouds, temperatures around 50 degrees-F, and sustained winds of over 30 mph. Soon, at the ridge, we endured gusts over 55 mph. The way was rocky and wet. 7 miles.

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It soon became very apparent that we were all leaders. We took turns in front. We took turns caring for each other. We easily became a close-knit group. There were no issues with where we were going. There were no issues as we adapted to options we faced. The tenants of leadership organically materialized, strengthened, and flowed naturally from us, individually and as a unit.

We’d later roll into the AMC Lake-of-the-Clouds Hut and people asked us who we were. We seemed so comfortable with one another, like brothers. People noticed; they felt our presence.

Upon reflection, we knew that we were not just warriors, enduring the hardships of our experience with determination and fortitude; we were also healers – we were relating to each other from our hearts, indeed as brothers. We discussed the relationship – the balancing act – between our warrior and healer instincts. We discussed the special relationship we shared with each other and with our natural surroundings. We became immersed in the bond of friendship and our connection with the natural world around us. It seemed like the power of our group was well beyond the power of four individuals.

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In yoga, we become aware that, as individuals,we are on a self-realization journey discovering our own true nature. We utilize teachings from the Patanjali-Sutra that help guide us in our interactions: learning to live lives of non-violence (ahimsa), making ourselves more sensitive to the ways we often do subtle violence with our minds and our bodies to ourselves and to others; and learning to be authentic and truthful (satya), ennobling our own true nature through right action, allowing those around us to not feel deceived. We learn to be compassionate, with an open heart and an open mind. We feel safe being our authentic selves. We exude trust and faith in each other.

On our hike, these practices became our way of being. It was so nice to be in a place of sharing, of mutual support, of safety – even while immersed in a world of adventure and challenge.

Through heartfelt leadership, all of us as warriors and healers, balanced and flowing, we became one powerful unit, feeling successes well beyond the sum of each of our individual contributions.

In yoga, we look towards the ideal of pure awareness (isvara), surrendering to the unknown, letting go of perceived boundaries and past conditioning, having faith, and embracing the wisdom of uncertainty… together as one.

On this trip, I believe we scratched the surface of these feelings, towards this ideal, leading ourselves forward like we were one common soul – with heart. And in peace.

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On these rocks, we became Brothers.

Of course, our next challenge will be bringing these teachings into our daily lives and to the world around us. Maybe as brothers, we can.

 

 

A Vision Statement Written in 2012

Last week, after visiting with my friend Eva in San Diego, I was reminded of a vision statement that I had written in 2012 to help us begin a new non-profit organization, Warriors Live On. Eva has steadfastly worked on developing this organization since that time and growing it with new partners and participants. I returned to Vermont after that time focused on finding new work, hoping that one day we’d work together again. After meeting with her last week, I was overwhelmed with pride and respect for her and her work.

I also dug out the following vision statement that I wrote at that time. It is interesting to note that I wrote this before my wife and I started work at Stratton, before we opened up a yoga studio in Manchester, Vermont, and before I started a hiking club with my warrior-friend Jonah. It was before I met other friends living with PTSD or learned about Y12SR or read about current neurological research in mindfulness or knew about HeartMath or Brene Brown or Candace Pert. It was based on personal experiences and insights. It makes me wonder if this vision statement will be in my future intentions again…

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Mission:

Provide educational and life-changing experiences for people, especially combat veterans, battling through the symptoms of PTSD who are motivated to learn and live in a supportive and healing environment that includes: (1) therapeutic adventure activities that build trusting community and individual understanding of new self; (2) whole body-mind-spirit healing and therapies that teach new healthy daily practices to heal effects of trauma; and (3) educational experiences in an interactive, interdependent and sustainable working community that build new life skills for a fulfilling and enriching life.  

(1) Therapeutic adventure activities that build trusting community and individual understanding of new self:

  • Programs and activities that use experiential education models in an adventure setting to provide therapeutic and behavioral-changing outcomes. Through intentional and directed group activities and processing that includes interaction, teamwork, and trust-building, participants build sense of safety and have enriching “ah-hah” moments that build community, self-efficacy, and understanding of personal strengths and behavior.
  • Participants build relationships with other participants, interns, and staff through activities in an outdoor natural environment.
  • Teaching is conducted in a strengths-based, non-judgmental manner, building trust, mutual respect, feelings of safety and support.

(2) Whole body-mind-spirit healing and therapy that teach new healthy daily practices to heal effects of trauma:

  • Programs will be holistic in nature, addressing whole body health, and teaching daily practices that can heal the effects of trauma. Traditional therapies for PTSD deal primarily with the mind; cutting-edge holistic therapies take advantage of the interconnectedness of mind, body and spirit.
  • Participants will have the following therapies and healing services available to them on a daily basis (in addition to the recreational and adventure therapies): yoga and meditation; one-on-one and group therapy; creative art and music activities; animal therapies.

(3) Educational experiences in an interactive, interdependent and sustainable working community that build new life skills for a fulfilling civilian life:

  • Retreat setting will be a working homestead with organic gardening; food shopping and meal preparation education for healthy nutrition; animal care; synergistic relationship-building with local farmers, restaurants, and merchants; sustainable practices using renewable energy and recycled water technologies; artisan skill-building such as timber framing and/or other homestead crafts; and landscaping work. Participants will learn these practices through hands-on experience.
  • Through participation and group reflection, life-skills are learned, relationships are built, group behavior is valued, and personal “can-do” attitudes are developed.

Services:

On-site workshops, group sessions, skill-building, healing and therapeutic services.

Off-site adventure workshops and activities, therapeutic recreation and experiential learning.

On-line outreach, community-building, and educational services to the broader community of veterans with PTSD and people battling through trauma. Educational articles, blogging, expert advice, on-line mentoring and support services.

Writing: books, articles in professional journals, on-line media.

Trainings, consultation and mentoring for interested groups and organizations.

Participation in research and cutting-edge studies.

Participants:

Veterans of OIF and OEF who are either diagnosed with PTSD or who are battling through similar symptoms of combat stress, such as depression, anxiety, panic, and inability to function, and who are generally having trouble functioning and living in their civilian lives. These veterans will most likely be those who have already been treated in a clinical setting and are adjusting to home life unsuccessfully, or those who have never been diagnosed or treated and are having difficulty with the symptoms years after their active duty. The veterans will be screened, interviewed and required to complete an intake process to determine motivation, need, and behavioral issues. This will not be a program for veterans that are suicidal. It will be a program for veterans who are aware that they have a problem adjusting to civilian life and that they are motivated to learn how to get better.

There will be a code of conduct that will include: norms of behavior (mutual respect, no alcohol or casual drugs or other self-medications not prescribed, safety, etc), activity guidelines, responsibilities for group living, and future mentoring and promotions (recruiting future participants).

Ideally, each session would have 10-12 participating veterans attending on scholarship for the session, 4-6 long-term seasonal interns (alumni, veterans who can stay for longer terms, interested civilians with PTSD experience) who would provide primary facility services and support on a work-for-free participation basis; and 4-6 fee-paying civilians who would volunteer to be involved in group skill-building and recreational activities.

Eventually, will conduct programs and retreats for caregivers and families of veterans addressing the veteran’s “dynamics” at home.

Location and Housing:

The retreat is intended to be sustainable and organic in nature. Permanent housing will be provided for 2-4 facility owners (and their families or partners). Temporary housing will be provided for participants, interns and fee-paying guests (18-24 total).

Housing will be low-impact, low-energy, green and sustainable in nature. Common and public services will be shared. Private spaces and facilities will be provided.

Permanent housing will small or tiny houses. Temporary housing could be a series of small modular-types cottages, tents or yurts.

There will be a common building with a commercial kitchen, laundry room, public baths and showers, yoga and meditation room, meeting room, treatment room, offices, and fitness room. Common building could be renovated existing farmhouse. There will also be a barn for outdoor workshops, animals, equipment storage, and facility support.

Entire facility would be planned in a manner that retreat could be subdivided and sold as private or public housing.

Retreat has become a sustainable geographic location with the following physical attributes (no order of priority):

  • Acreage (approximately 25 – 50 acres).
  • Proximity to thriving community with local farms and artisans and support services.
  • Proximity to preserved nature land, preferably forested and mountainous, open spaces, great views.
  • Proximity to sustainable water supply, for drinking and recreation. Consider climate in 10-20 years.
  • Temperate local environment with high norms for days with sunshine (for solar facilities: no extreme heating- or cooling- days; for outdoor recreation; for growing food; for health).
  • Progressive community economics and social services; proximity to wealth for local financial support; like-minded businesses for partnerships and synergistic, socially-responsible relationships.
  • Proximity to major airport & transportation hub (plane, train, bus, vehicle travel) for easy access for travelers.
  • Proximity to adaptive sports facility and volunteer base for outdoor activities.
  • Proximity to outdoor education and therapeutic recreation choices: (1) Hiking and backcountry travel, (2) Flat water kayaking, (3) Biking, (4) Whitewater rafting, (5) Skiing, snowboarding and snowshoeing (Backcountry, downhill, cross-country), (6) Rock climbing, (7) Surfing.
  • Veteran-friendly community, perhaps with local VA facilities for referrals.
  • On-site running water (stream) for tranquility and meditation.
  • Proximity to university with research interests in our work.

Organizational Philosophy:

Participant involvement will be experiential, hands-on, interactive, and relationship-building. It will be conducted in a manner that teaches life skills that can be applied daily in civilian life. As such, participants will be responsible for many of the daily activities required to run the retreat.

For continued growth, learning, and involvement in cutting edge work, the schedule and culture of this organization will promote learning and off-site travel. The leaders of this organization will be able to bring new life to this organization each session, promote work and personal growth in between, and continue on-line support as necessary at the same time.

To keep the organization a grassroots and socially-responsible business, we will seek supporters at a grassroots and local level. It will be desirable to have many small and invested supporters rather than just a few remote supporters. We’d like this organization to be as sustainable as possible. It may require individual fees or contributions from participants. We’d like to partner with local farmers and healthy food providers to assist with food services and joint marketing. We’d like to partner with local adaptive organizations for mutual support and longevity. We’d like to partner with larger organizations to provide services that are more intimate and holistic than they can provide. We’d like to provide with various holistic health organizations for services, such as local practitioners, local artisans, and local transportation service providers.

Other Relevant Ideas Related to Healing and Culture:  

Process begins when person becomes aware of a personal issue and becomes motivated to change. For someone to decide to then spend time with us, they’d have to first develop a feeling that coming to our program would be safe and beneficial. So, they’d have to first have some level of trust, faith, and hope that coming to our program will help. This is where on-line community with story-telling may be beneficial.

Story-telling might provide sense of validation, validation that their personal experience is a result of normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. Thus, on-line community might also provide educational stories, providing feeling that one is not alone and that others have same or similar symptoms.

Education might help participants realize that: the mind and body have changed; there are practices to help you change again; the physical imprints of trauma are stored in one’s body; emotional pathways are wide-open- all emotions- positive and negative, and logical and memory pathways are reduced; pathways to healing involves mindfulness, body work, and re-programming of thought processes to affect emotional response.

Developing mindfulness skills through meditation and therapies, and discovering the mind-body-spirit connections through yoga and outdoor activity in beautiful (and safe) settings will be the foundation of a beneficial community environment. We’d also teach: relaxation techniques to help get rest, recover and help body re-program nervous system; healthy eating and lifestyle skills that help body rebuild healthy cells, pathways, and bodily systems.

Vulnerability- Being vulnerable is uncomfortable for everyone, especially for those trained to be stoic and trained to control the situations one is faced with. However, through experiencing vulnerability in a safe and supportive environment, we learn about ourselves, our true and authentic nature, and we learn to appreciate the positive emotions that we are now experiencing.

Through learning about our own personal vulnerabilities, our true selves and authentic nature, and our inherent strengths and positive attributes, we develop self-efficacy. Through self-efficacy and feelings of self-worth in our “constantly-growing” bodies, with a new outlook that lets go of control and embraces living in the moment mindfully, we further develop positive emotions and we start to open up the neurological pathways to parts of our brain and body that have been shut down, allowing ourselves to heal previous physical imprints and re-program ourselves to a new healthy being.

Through this process, we discover a new sense of worthiness, that inside we feel like we are safe, worthy, and deserve goodness. We start to have faith in the future again, faith in ourselves, faith in others. Fear starts to become manageable and it eventually subsides. With faith comes hope; hope is a fundamental feeling that continues to allow all other positive emotions to develop.

Being in a beautiful outdoor setting not only helps participants feel safe, it helps them see beauty again in the world, helping them tune into the big picture, the miracles of life, and further develop positive emotions and spiritual presence. Being in a supportive environment where people appreciate the positive aspects of each other (strengths-based), participants start to let go of self-judgment and see the possibilities of positive, interdependent personal relationships with others, and will be motivated to find supportive communities at home.

Other skills-based and teams-based learning activities (food planning and preparation, arts and crafts, fitness and sports, sustainable home-living skills, animal care) further develop the sense of interdependence, worthiness, self-efficacy, and the feelings that we can thrive in our new bodies in our new civilian lives, and feel safe. Other creative activities like music, drumming, story-telling, and dance also help develop the idea of being vulnerable, non-judgmental, and free to share positive emotions.

Experiential education (EE) and therapeautic adventure (TA) models in a strengths-based learning environment, in a setting that is beautiful and safe, are the basis for developing this healing or living-well process. In an intentional manner, participants will be faced with sequenced situations that develop teamwork, trust, communication, and being vulnerable with others. If this vulnerability takes place in a safe and supportive sequence that builds trusting relationships, personal skills and interpersonal trust, participants go through a self-realization process that allows them to continue to succeed, one step at a time, building self-efficacy and self-worthiness. Other complimentary therapies would be utilized to support this process along the way, helping participants cope, helping participants become more aware, helping participants learn to be compassionate towards themselves, helping participants find physical health and spiritual health in their current mental being, and helping participants develop positive emotions and feelings of faith and hope. The EE and TA processes are the basis of what helps us all to quickly develop the sense of brotherhood or (sisterhood), trust, and which allows us to begin the process of being vulnerable and open to learning, changing, and living happy and well.

Hanuman

Last week, my wife and I spent the week with Dr. Manoj Chalam (a teacher of Hindu symbolisms and mythology), his wife Jyothi Chalam (a Vedanta scholar and South Indian classical singer), yoga and mindfulness teacher Christina Enneking, and about 80 other knowledge seekers at the Rising of Knowledge retreat in San Diego, CA. We practiced yoga, meditation, ceremony, and learned about Vedanta philosophy and yogic (Hindu) deities. We visited the Self Realization Meditation Gardens in Encinitas. Of course, it was an enlightening week. I thought I’d share some of Manoj’s teachings and their relevance to my life’s journey.

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When you visit our yoga studio in Vermont, you will see murtis, statues of Hindu and Buddhist deities such as Ganesh, Shiva, Lakshmi, Sarasvati, and Hanuman. You can understand a deity at many levels. The easiest way to relate to them is as personal archetypes. The word archetype was coined by the Swiss psychotherapist, Carl Jung. An archetype is a symbol or a form that is imprinted in your subconscious.

There are archetypes from many traditions. For instance, the Sun God is called Ra (Amun Ra) in the Egyptian tradition. The same Sun God in the Roman tradition is called Mitra, while in the yogic (Hindu) tradition, the Sun god is also Mitra or Surya. Even though the cultures were thousands of miles apart, these are Universal archetypes. Interestingly, Mitra was born of a virgin mother on December 25, was a wandering preacher with 12 disciples and when he died, he was resurrected 3 days later! Of course, the cross is another beautiful archetypical symbol. The Hawaiians call these archetypes Aumakua such as Pele, Goddess of the Fire. And I’ve written before about the four archetypes of Warrior, Healer, Teacher and Visionary (I base my morning ritual on them).

The entire philosophy of yogic Self-Realization is embedded in the symbols of these archetypes. These archetypes are within our Collective Unconscious. These archetypes lie deeply embedded in our Causal Body and are available for the whole human race. They appear in times of transition in our lives and help guide us to achieve higher ideals in life. One of the highest ideals is knowledge about oneself (self-realization). When we know who our archetype is, we can learn how to invoke the associated knowledge and superhuman ideals in our lives. At its very core, these teachings are not a religion nor a philosophy. It is a Sadhana (Spiritual Practice) of actualizing our human potential in every stage of our lives. It is always Perfecting as opposed to Perfection and looking at the good in everything around us.

The Sanskrit word for archetype is Ishtadevata. Ishta means desired and devata means deity. The murtis (statues) are not “out there”, but within you as archetypes. They not only help you in your transformation, but they lead you to Awakening. As Joseph Campbell said, myths are Collective Dreams, while your dreams are Personal Myths! When your personal dreams, hopes, and aspirations are in tune with the Collective Dreams or myths, there is amazing harmony in your life.

Finding your archetype (Ishtadevata) is like falling in love: the form of the deity has to appeal to you. It is like walking into a room of new people and immediately liking someone, or going into an art museum and connecting with a piece of art.

Similarly, you can look at these deities, touch them, feel them, understand their Symbolisms and myths. Sooner than later you will find yourself gravitating to one, two or three deities. Usually you have one primary archetype and another secondary one. They change during your life because you change! These archetypes give you the reason to live with joy and help you in your personal, professional and spiritual aspects of your life. They also remind us of the grander ideals we can all live for. They bring out the yearning some of us have to make an impact on people and society and leave a legacy beyond the transitory nature of our lives.

About 20 years ago, I took a grand leap and left my job as a partner in a consulting structural engineering firm. As a young engineer, I had progressed quickly into a leadership role. I was quickly emerging as a firm and regional leader, designing large projects, developing key clients, publishing research work, and leading regional professional organizations. Knowing deep inside that there was a greater service-oriented purpose in my life, I resigned. I had no plans, no job, no idea what was next. But I felt this incredible sense of inner power and devotion to a greater purpose in my life.

Since that time, I have pursued work as a teacher, a coach, a wellness coach and mentor, a spiritual seeker, and as a yoga practitioner. I am a devoted step-father and husband… and son. I have taken additional leaps of faith on my life’s journey, often when my professional career leads me astray from my heart-felt greater purpose. Looking back now, after meeting Manoj and learning about these archetypes, I have realized that the Hanuman in me was guiding me and giving me the power to make these various leaps, especially since that time. But, like many other archetypes and spirit guides with whom I walk, I realize that Hanuman has always been with me.

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In a nutshell, Hanuman represents superhuman strength and superhuman intellect with a high degree of devotion. He resides in the heart chakra. If there is one deity who embodies Bhakti (devotion or love-attachment), it is Lord Hanuman. Power comes from devotion. Hanuman represents service towards others with a keen sense of humility.

Hanuman is the ultimate quiet, non-attention-seeking superhero. He enjoys working behind the scenes to support others. Many aspects of yoga come from Hanuman, including many asanas. His father was Vayu, the wind deity so he taught the yogic world pranayama. His guru was Surya, the Sun god so he taught the world Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation). He is so intelligent that he is able to reconcile the three main systems of Vedanta philosophy: Dwaita (Duality), Vishishta Advaita (qualified non duality) and Advaita (non duality). Manoj illustrates this aspect in this story: When this unassuming monkey becomes a superstar of the Ramayana, at the end Ram asks Hanuman “Who are you?” Hanuman replies: deha bhavena dasosmi – when I take identification with my body, I am your (God’s) servant. This is Dwaita, duality where you are separate from God and thus express devotion, the path of Bhakti; jiva bhavena twadamshakaha – when I take identification with the traveling soul, I am a part of you – this is Vishishta Advaita, qualified non duality where you are part of God; and atma bhavena twamevaham – when I take identification with pure Consciousness, I am You – this is Advaita, pure non-duality.

And of course Hanuman’s mythical leap to move mountains is memorialized in the pose Hanumanasana. This pose asks you not merely to stretch your legs but also to bring true devotion into your practice. Hanumanasana expresses the expansiveness possible when devotion is in the heart—the sense that you can overcome any obstacle when your yearning to help is combined with reverence and respect, as well as an intense and fiery devotion. In Hanumanasana you strive to reach much further than seems humanly possible.

It is interesting how my personal musings and reflections in the past years have led me down the path of looking at God or the Divine from these various perspectives. I have always felt that I am really me when I am observing myself and the world around me as a totally interconnected, loving, joyful, and spiritual soul… Advaita. In this place, I feel ultimate power and our divine nature… and I see in others our power and divine nature.

Experiences are always shared; our lives are always connected. In you, I see me. I am, because we are. Or, as the Beatles might say: “I am he as you are he as you are me – and we are all together!” and “And life flows on within you and without you…”

Om Anjaneya Namah.

Thank you, Manoj, for being you… and for sharing your insights with the world. (Much of the content in this article is directly from Dr. Manoj Chalam’s teachings.)

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Changing Habitual Emotional Reactions

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(From Terry Fralich: The Five Core Skills of Mindfulness)

Each time you encounter a negative emotion (irritation, impatience, anxiety, anger, etc) that threatens to dominate your awareness, try practicing the following:

STOP – Recognize the warning signs of the emotional reaction as soon as possible, and remind yourself to pay attention to them immediately.

BREATHE – Become sensitive to the natural softening quality of your breathe, and send a mental message to your body to release and let go, allowing the negative emotion to soften.

REFLECT – Appraise the situation: Is your reaction supported by old patterns or stories or past experiences? What resources and options do you have in the present moment? Can you change your perspective about how you see yourself in this situation? What are your best insights from this situation and what do you want to remember?

CHOOSE – Having become more aware of your negative emotion and possible patterned response, settled yourself a bit, and tapped into your insights, consider other possible reactions. Remember that you have the power to choose your reaction; can you shift an old pattern and make a creative choice towards another possible reaction? What might be your best choice under all of the circumstances?

This 4-step mindfulness practice can be a powerful tool.

For me (if the situation allows), listening to my body, and perhaps moving my body or relocating myself to a natural and safe place, can help the breathing process and help make my reflections clearer and more in tune with my natural instincts and my deeper intuition.

I try to remember that I am human – bad things happen and I make mistakes – but I also have the ability (and responsibility) to choose my response. If I practice these steps, and pay attention to my positive intentions in life, cultivating positive states (delight, joy, calm, confident, loving, etc) in mind and body, I will eventually change habitual negative emotional reactions to more positive responses, responses which will also be more in tune with my true nature.

Striving

It was interesting to hear a group of yogis have a rather intense discussion on the word striving recently, often taking issue with the word. I remember a workshop almost a year ago when two of my favorite yoga teachers had the same pointed discussion on the same word. I remember it as being one of the most insightful discussions I had heard at the time; two master teachers, each expressing their unique and sometimes differing perspectives. To me, that is the essence of learning to live a full and joyous life: seeing and paying attention to multiple perspectives, then synthesizing them in a way that gives enhanced personal understanding and a greater sense of inner knowingness.

To me, this process of synthesizing multiple perspectives, engaging in deep personal reflection and learning, then adapting with time to continue to survive happily in the present moment, is the essence of my yoga practice. No judgment, just learning and adapting. Isn’t this what svadhyaya (the second Niyama) is all about? When we look inside with a sense of discovery and wonder, we begin to understand the difference between knowledge and knowingness, information and wisdom. When our sense of awareness is lively, joy arises from within rather than being dependent on outer influences or accomplishments.

I know that when a word or a concept causes a sense of uneasiness, it is worth looking at why and delving deep into the question. Why did the word striving cause such an intense reaction? Hmmm.

For me at least, it might show how deeply we hold on to doing things the way we think they are supposed to be done based on outside influences (job advancement, approval, norms of behavior), rather than letting go of those outside expectations and acting in a manner authentic to our true selves and our own sense of inner wisdom.

Striving can mean our steady work to fulfill our true purposes in life and our acting in a manner according to our deepest intentions and wisdom. It can mean having faith in ourselves and our own unique abilities and acting accordingly. For instance, my striving to build my body and mind, and to be spiritually connected as a result of my honest emotional expressions of love and connection to others, is my way of finding joy in my life. It is me, the wise me, learning through personal discovery and self-study with a sense of awe and wonder, adapting each day to the circumstances of the present situation and experience. It is constantly balanced with a keen awareness of acceptance, respecting my own vulnerabilities, humbly seeing the interdependence of all things around me and the way things are.

But striving can also mean the constant desire to do what other’s think you need to do, to act in a competitive manner to succeed in comparison to others, to become attached to a career identity or a certain status, or to just feel like you are never good enough the way you already are. It can also mean striving to do a yoga posture that isn’t right for your body just because some other guru, living in a different body, said that this is the way this posture should be done.

Personally, I am motivated to learn and to adapt, to strive to live a full expression of my life while accepting honestly and humbly who I already am. I am motivated to strive to see and respect the best in others, showing compassion and sharing honest caring emotions, while accepting that they walk their own path. I strive to be responsible for myself: my health, my happiness, and my actions. I accept that because we are all interconnected and interdependent (and that I am human), my fate is not just up to me.

I look for learning in all interactions and experiences. I strive to respect the perspective of every person, young and old, weak and strong, quiet and loud. I honor other yoga teachers and the long lineage of yoga teachers. But it is up to me to find my own peace and joy in my life, both striving to be me, making effort to practice and learn as my best self, while accepting all that is me and that will always be me… and being aware of the difference.

I enroll in yoga teacher-trainings to be challenged to learn multiple perspectives in order to learn more about myself and my place on this planet; I do not enroll in yoga teacher-trainings in order to strive for outside recognition or to learn to do things in a certain accepted way. It does not impress me when someone tells me that I need to do things a certain way, just because that person has been taught by many big personalities or influential teachers. It is always up to me to synthesize a teacher’s perspectives with respect and an attitude of whole-hearted learning, but then act in an authentic and honest manner according my deep sense of personal inquiry and wisdom. I believe that this is the essence of the Sutras as well as many other spiritually-guided texts.

As a teacher, it is my job to guide and empower others to find their own sense of personal knowingness and wisdom, learn more about their own bodies and minds, their own sense of importance and vulnerability and connectedness, not to encourage them to strive in a certain manner just because it is my own personal perspective or the normal way to do things.

To me, this is how we all learn to live together for the greater good of us all and this planet. It is indeed my perspective that we are innately wired to live this way… but it also my perspective that as a teacher, I’m only striving to help others discover this in their own manner, if indeed it is the way we are intended to be.

To me, this is the essence of being a yogi and a yoga teacher. To me, this is why I absolutely love having engaging and interactive non-judgmental discussion on deep subjects, like on the concept of striving.

And, to me, this is why I absolutely love to sit down, reflect, and write afterwards.

Bobopelli in VC City 2014

The Story of River Sierra: A Story Inspired by the Niyamas

River was almost 40 years old when he married Bluebird Sky, the mother of a 9-year-old son Little Tree, and a 6-year old daughter Little Flower. River had been married once before, too, but had no children of his own. He was happy to start a new life, living with his new family in their rural mountain home.

River knew that there were a series of tragic events a number of years ago that had led to Bluebird Sky’s divorce from Gray Night; he knew his new wife Bluebird worked hard to put their past behind her and start a new life with River by her side.

Through their early years together, River and Bluebird took the kids on many adventures – hiking, skiing, and camping in the wilderness. They lived a healthy lifestyle – eating well, exercising regularly, and living naturally in their mountain community. They tried to cultivate a happy and wholesome new life together. They were able to have a clean start, enjoying a natural, down-to-earth existence (sauca = purification).

A few years later, Gray Night, who had been serving a jail sentence as a result of the tragic events from years before, moved into the local town. Understandably, he wanted to be closer to his two children.

However, Bluebird Sky got very sick. She became overwhelmed with fear, being reminded of the earlier events in their lives. She struggled and struggled to put the past feelings behind her, but she couldn’t. The panic and fear was held deep in her body, and it took over her ability to live a normal life. She struggled and struggled each day to be the mom her children expected, but that expectation was quickly becoming impossible for her to satisfy.

River remained by her side – determined to be a strong husband, working hard to be there in support of the whole family, trying steadfastly to get through each day, one day at a time, practicing the healthy behaviors he had come to know, doing the best he could. He sold many personal belongings and withdrew savings in order to pay hospital bills. He had to remain focused on his wife’s care, trying to find peace within the chaotic circumstances, being content with what was most important – daily survival (santosa = contentment).

River was a disciplined and loyal man. He got up each morning, exercised privately, got the kids off to school, took care of his wife, and tried to find time to do his job’s work and research for his wife’s care. He was reminded during this time of his own personal resolve and resiliency, having tested himself as a youth with the unpopular decision not to drink or try drugs, to dedicate himself to learning and excellence in schoolwork, and to pedal his bicycle hundreds of miles at a time (tapas = discipline).

Many of his days were spent just breathing with his wife, practicing a breath they had learned years before while studying yoga together, reading poems that reminded them to have faith, and listening to calming music to get through the days between doctor and hospital visits. When possible, they would often go for quiet, therapeutic hikes in the woods with their pet dog, Jackson Moose. When able, they would practice yoga asana, moving their bodies with their breath. During these practices, they would find some moments of peacefulness.

Each day, they did what they needed to do to get through the day, struggling and struggling to get through the fear and panic associated with their lives slowly slipping away, fighting bravely to be well-intentioned parents for their kids. However, the constant reminder of the past events due to the proximity of Gray Night largely left Bluebird trapped in her house, sick, panicking, and full of fear. The protective and caring nature of River kept him isolated in their home, afraid to leave Bluebird alone.

Eventually, River’s research and study went from seeking medical-related advice from doctors and reading literature written by others, to listening more closely to his own intuition and trusting his own instincts (svadhyaya = self-study or spiritual exploration).

One day, he realized that he was holding on too closely to a vision that he had of the way he hoped his marriage would be like. As he listened more closely to his inner knowingness, surrendering himself to his more Divine nature and his faith in the Universe, he realized that he had to let go of expectations of the way he thought his wife should be, how his future would be, and trust that things would unfold in their lives in a healthy way if he listened without judgment, loved without condition, and trusted without question (isvara-pranidhana = dedication to ideal of pure awareness or surrender to the Divine).

Things shifted.

Within days, they found new care. New doctors understood the previous trauma and cleansed Bluebird’s body of the toxic medications prescribed by previous doctor after doctor. Bluebird started to find her light again. She realized that she would be okay if she let go of the suffering from the past, practiced a new way of living mindfully each day, and didn’t worry about how the future might turn out. She took responsibility for this new practice of mindful living, learning to maintain a wise perspective, and day by day, she got better.

Gray Night moved away.

Years later, Bluebird Sky’s experiences would lead her to a simpler life of healing. She created a heart-centered, community-building wellness center, shining her light again brightly in the support of others, feeling abundance in the love of others, and utilizing her personal experiences with new inspiration. There were multiple steps along the way, yes, but each step allowed a new perspective. Today, she practices to maintain a bird’s-eye view, remembering to rejoice in the spirit of the present moment.

Little Tree and Little Flower would grow up quickly, graduate from colleges, and begin resilient young lives in thriving cities, leaving their rural roots in the mountains, at least for today.

River Sierra would learn to flow with life again as himself, letting go somewhat of the day-to-day responsibility of keeping his family alive and healthy, exploring new work possibilities with a clearer and wiser perspective, and knowing deep inside that his gift had always been to see the beauty in others even when they didn’t see it themselves… And to convey instinctively a sense of safety and faith. For him, sometimes all that would mean would be to be there when the time was right, to plant seeds, feed them, and happily watch them grow.

Sometimes, all that it would mean would be to just be content with the way things are.

Letting go, River flows naturally again.

Experiential Learning: Group Exercises for Mindful Hiking

Often times, I’ll lead hikes or trips with a group of people in which our goals are to learn something valuable from the experience that we might be able to apply in our daily lives. Experiential learning. I’ll usually set up an outline, perhaps having a series of quotes which might give a particular perspective, or perhaps having a few engaging interactive activities planned that might enhance the experience. Through the experience, guided reflection, and de-brief facilitation, the insights that people share are often so much more powerful than anything I (as one individual) could have come up with on my own. That’s the beauty of group learning! Here was my simple outline going into today’s Mindful Hiking workshop at Heart of the Village Yoga in Manchester, VT. I’d read a “quote”; we’d brief the next section of the hike; hike a little; do some yoga postures; de-brief; and then move on to the next quote and segment of our little hike.

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(Quotes adapted from “The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh)

Mindfulness of Breathe: The way to maintain your presence in the here and now is through the mindfulness of the breathe. There is no need to manipulate the breathe. Beathe is a natural thing; like air, like light, we should leave it as it is and not interfere with it. What we are doing is simply lighting up the lamp of awareness to illuminate our breathing. We generate the energy of mindfulness to illuminate everything that is happening in the present moment.

Brief: Let’s use all of our senses to feel, hear, see, taste and smell our breathe… and then use all of our senses to feel, hear, see, taste and smell everything that is happening around us in this present moment.

De-Brief: Does anyone want to share anything about this experience, what you might have observed in yourself or around you?

 Walking Meditation Practice: Walking is an important form of meditation. It can be a very deep spiritual practice. Walk without effort; walk without strain. Just enjoy walking. When you walk in mindfulness, you are in touch with all of the wonders of life within you and around you. For many of us, this can be difficult because our minds are elsewhere and we are not walking with our full body and our full consciousness. We see our minds and our bodies as two separate things. While our bodies are walking one way, our consciousness is tugging us in a different direction. When we understand the interconnectedness of our bodies and our minds, the simple act of walking can feel supremely easy and pleasurable.

Brief: Let’s take a step and touch the earth in such a way that you establish yourself in the present moment. No effort required: your foot touches the earth mindfully, and you arrive firmly in the here and now. You are fully present, fully alive, and you are touching the earth. Breathe in and take one step, and focus all of your attention on the sole of your foot. Smile, then take the next step!

De-Brief: Does anyone want to share anything about this experience, what you might have observed in yourself or around you?

Touching the Earth: Touching the earth each day helps us in many ways. The earth has been here for a long time. She is mother to all of us. She knows everything. With the earth we are very safe. She is very patient; she helps us; she protects us. When we die, she takes us back into her arms. She is always there to support us, in all of her wonderful expressions like trees, flowers, butterflies, and sunshine. Touching the earth is a good practice to heal you and restore your joy.

Brief:  Now, let’s take each step with an attitude of gratitude for the earth and all of her wondrous expressions. Touch the earth; touch her expressions… the leaves, the soil, the water, the flowers… Feel her support and patience.

De-Brief: Does anyone want to share anything about this experience, what you might have observed in yourself or around you?

Children of the Earth: We are all children of the earth. We are continually rising from Mother Earth, being nurtured by her, and then returning to her. All life is impermanent. Like us, plants are born, live for a period of time, and then return to the earth and become the source of food for future growth, future generations. We all depend on each other. We humans think we’re intelligent, but an orchid, for example, knows how to produce symmetrical flowers; a snail knows how to a make beautiful, well-proportioned shell. Compared with their knowledge, ours might not be worth that much at all. Maybe we should bow down to the orchid and the snail. Maybe we should join our palms reverently before the butterfly and the oak tree. Maybe, feeling respect for all species will help us recognize and cultivate the noblest nature in ourselves.

Brief: Let’s walk as if we are nature itself, dependent on each and every plant, animal, and organism… each and every mineral, element, piece of matter around us. Perhaps, as we feel their vulnerability, we’ll feel our own. Perhaps, as we feel their importance in the web of life, we’ll feel our own too.

De-Brief:

Does anyone want to share anything about this experience, what you might have observed in yourself or around you?

What is the biggest take-away, most meaningful learning experience, that you’ll take way with you and into your daily lives from today’s hike?

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A Facilitator of Learning

These thoughts began today after some discussions about my work. I found myself trying to clarify my intentions for my work. I’d like to generate clear and concise plans. In the past, I’ve tended to focus on reasonable business and job opportunities available… what other people think. This time, I’m trying to take a step back and really listen to my intuition, tune into being me, and then stepping forward in ways more natural to being me. Today, these words flowed out of me…

I am a learner. I facilitate learning. I am humble… in that I look at every being with an attitude of respect and dignity, and every experience (and human interaction) as an opportunity for learning. I look at life as one big experiment. The experiential education model fits my perspective on learning and in life: do… reflect… learn and adapt… do again. I tend to see the beauty of each person’s soul… and enjoy helping people see it themselves, in themselves. Thus, I enjoy helping people find joy, inner-power, and feelings of ease and equanimity. One person at a time; one group at a time. (And because I see everything as being connected, in time and in space, just like Nature, I feel that each of our impacts in our lives on this Earth is Universal and Divine in Nature.) I care for people in a very deep, unassuming and non-judgmental way. I connect with others through my heart and feelings of compassion first. And I am very loyal to those with whom I’m connected. It’s just who I am.

When I speak of the desire to help others or be a leader, it is from this perspective. The teaching is in the facilitation of helping people learn from experiences, helping to enhance their lives, and helping them see in themselves what they haven’t yet seen. Perhaps, even helping them feel re-connected spiritually in this World .

Ultimately, we expand the limits of our learning and capabilities through being engaged with others. I am inspired by group-learning, team-building, and community-building… and the challenges of finding common ground and synergistic relationships within diversity. For me, I tend to just see common ground and positive solutions, not differences or road-blocks.

I see myself as a humble facilitator of learning… planting seeds… bringing joy, one village at a time. Being a mirror… perhaps a filtered mirror that tries to reflect back positivity.

I do not boast of these things. It is not my ego speaking. It is just who I am. In fact, in talking about myself, I feel like I am not being my natural me. You see, I respect your knowledge, your being, your experience, our relationship, with reverence. My experience is just my experience; yours is yours. Each is unique and special. We learn together through our mutual experience. I want to learn from you and your experience, your perspective! I enjoy facilitating these shared learning experiences.

When I do something contrary to my perceived self-attributes… like writing about my opinions in a way that sounds like I’m trying to sell one perspective, or when working for instance in a environments of ego, judgment, disrespect… I feel like I’m violating my sense of personal integrity.

So, I quietly observe, learn, and often move on.

From my perspective, because I just see the world this way, I tend to assume everyone sees things the same way… and sees me respectfully in this same, unassuming Way.

When I am quiet, it is often because I am bored, or not being engaged, or not being seen for who I am, or not learning, or not feeling connecting with others in a whole-hearted way. It is not that I am unhappy; my mind and heart just goes to places where I feel connected (often in a very visual and dream-state way). I just long to be connected in the present time and present space. And that connection is often created by the present experience of learning, adapting, making things better, or challenging myself through the adventure of new experiences… or practicing and teaching yoga… or being in Nature… with others.

I continue to be drawn more and more to yoga as my intended path. I feel like I have a strong intuition. Practicing yoga enhances my sense of intuition. In a way, it seems to validate deeply what I probably already naturally know in my body to be true.

Why am I writing all of this down today? I guess I’m just trying to stay true to being me. Maybe, I am just honoring my dad and mom. My dad (see my Tribute in this blog) passed away two years ago today. I am visiting my mom tomorrow. I honor her resiliency; they were together about 70 years. Now, she lives alone. That eats away at my soul…

It reminds me how much I care. It reminds me to honor my empathetic and intuitive nature. It also reminds me to keep on learning and sharing educational experiences with others.

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I am just trying to find my place, my Way… and I cherish having my wife Jo (and our dog Emma) by my side. I feel gratitude for each and every person and experience (positive and negative) in my life who has helped me see the best in me… starting with my parents.

I honor and respect each of our individual paths. From my perspective, I see them with equal importance, vital importance. We may each feel small, but we are each part of something huge. We are all in this together. My life ultimately depends on me (and that feeling of responsibility drives my learning). My life also depends on each of you.

Thanks!